Joeyus Carrollus Ungeheuerus Ungezieferus Chazzerius Racketeerusmobbus WannabeusMossaddus Chicanerus Knightus,
Also known as Joseph Carroll Knight, Grimy Small Claims Magistrate of the
Small Claims Courtroom, Boudoir, and Personal PIGSty,
Buncombe County Courthouse,
Asheville, NC.

In 2023, I went to the courthouse to see about getting a lawsuit filed for elderly bedridden Donna Jean Oakes for the outrageous torts of negligent damage by Keffer Hyundai just east of the NC Highway Patrol office on US 70…and the incompetent creeps at Curtis Hi-Tech in Oteen, reputed to be owned by the scoundrel, Charles Careccia. She had driven her 2012 Toyota Scion to Curtis Hi-Tech for a simple 5k miles oil change, and the woman mechanic used a high-powered percussion wrench to remove her oil filter and shattered the alloy crankcase on her engine. And yes, the crooks at Asheville Hyundai had over-torqued the oil filter body so that it could not be removed with a socket wrench and elbow grease. It was way too tight. So the mechanic at Careccia’s place in Oteen, a woman, took an overpowered jack-hammer-like device to it and busted a huge hole in the side of the engine. Now a nice reliable Toyota has been turned into an oil-burning, sputtering hoopty by two gangs of crooks and then unjustly forgiven by their corrupt accessories in the courthouse.

Our despicable clerk’s office would not let me sign up Ms. Oakes as an indigent. She had to be there in the courthouse, they said, so I had to advance the court costs. The statute of limitations was about to run. She lives on less than $1k per mo. and, as an octogen, I live on less than $9k a year, or a total of $860 per month — courthouse outrage no.1. After I brought her to the courthouse and pushed her around in a wheelchair, my octogenarian knees gave me months of pain and stiffness. Asheville direly needs a militant chapter of Grey Panthers.

I had not anticipated that I would be required to sponsor the lawsuit. Or that former trial court administrator, the conniver Marc Shimburg, would sneak around this day, peeping around corners, and follow me all over the courthouse. I know now that something evil this way came.

Don’t be fooled by the youthfulness of this yutz judge’s evil face. It is now about 67 years old, hoggish, and creped with grime, chicanery, and wrinkles.

Oddly, the shyster has never heard of the common legal concept of res ipsa loquitur. Ms. Oakes drove her Toyota Scion to Curtis Hi-Tech in Oteen with a full sump of oil, and her computerized variable valve timing working perfectly. No engine lights appeared on her dash, except the one light that advised her maintenance was required — that it was time to change oil. She turned the car over to Curtis Hi-Tech for oil change and they had it in their exclusive possession while she waited in their waiting room. While they had their careless hands on it, they knocked a hole in her engine. When the lawsuit came to court, they should have had to explain their presumptive negligence; but they sat there like knots on a log, having already been assured the plaintiff would get goose-egged by the crook, Joseph Knight.

It’s a sad commentary that today, just as it was in the days of Jonathan Swift– who commented in Gulliver about courthouse depravity — that the judges are dredged up from the scoundrels, fools, and bottomfeeders of the legal profession.